Wednesday, December 27, 2017

you are within (lyrics)

you are within    my soul.

I am within     your soul.

you are within    my soul.

I am within    your soul.

I am   you
you are   me
I am   you
you are   me.

when will we love a stranger like we love our lover?

when will we feed the hungry like we feed our daughter?

when will we hold the lonely like we hold our mother?

will I see in your eyes, a little of mine?

I heal for you,
I heal for me.

you hurt for you,
 you hurt for me.

we never end,
we never start.

in this short breath
we're all we've got.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Vignette #2

We had gone to the park to break sticks. The hawk too, had gone to the park, probably to hunt for
squirrels, but I like to think it had been there waiting for us. We didn't know what we were walking into,
only that we had to go. Sam was angry, and I was following his lead, not quite touching my own anger
enough, but I knew it was there too, waiting. We looked for a spot away enough for the ritual, for the
release --in the park, but also in the forest. That's when I saw its eyes peering at me from a high
distant branch. The hawk was watching us. We had arrived.

I remember thinking it would fly away if we got too close, but we kept climbing up the small hill,
nearer and nearer until we were just feet away. The hawk didn't alter its gaze or fly to a different tree.

The ritual began.

Sam found some dead branches and we started stomping and breaking, thrashing and grunting. His
anger fueled mine, and we both let it come flowing forth out of our minds, into our body, out of our body,
into the earth while the hawk watched with steady eyes.
We were lost in our own self importance, grunting like animals,
we didn't even realize that the small boys were watching too.
They kept walking closer, slightly ahead of their mom, gazing up at us
with the same steadiness as the hawk.
Finally, they stumbled up the hill towards us. “Excuse me” the smallest one said, “what are you doing?”
''Oh you know, just breaking sticks." I replied.

Suddenly everything felt incredibly holy and also incredibly silly. I explained to the boys' mother
we were there making weird animal noises and stomping and shaking branches as therapy.
She seemed to understand.
The boys had already understood.

And the hawk was there still staring, wondering -- what took you so long?

Monday, December 18, 2017

Vignette #1

Last night, when stranded in the cold dealing with a debacle after The Moon Show, my phone frozen, my fingers numb, I asked a passerby across the street if he could call me car. He kept walking, looking at my shoes that were not quite on my feet yet (I had been mopping the venue of the moon show) and he said “take the subway.” I was so angry and desperate that I wouldn’t accept his cold lack of empathy. So, I yelled as he continued to walk away. I yelled back his humanity. I told him I couldn’t take a subway, I had too much gear, my phone was dead and I was in a shitty situation, could he help. He paused and said “get a cab then.” I waved my arms pointing to the lack of traffic in any close proximity, still in shock of his indifference to my situation.

Finally he said he’d help me get a car, and he waited for me to collect my things.

I’ve imagined this situation with a lot of different people passing by, and I’d like to think that I could eventually get anyone to stop and help me. Though, even people who consider themselves generous and nice are often in too much of a hurry, or see the sidewalk merely as a means to get to where they’re going, and anyone on that arena, merely as backdrop. But I emerged from the backdrop to plea for help from a stranger, and it took him a while to recognize my need, my humanity, his humanity --the realization that we are interconnected in this world and we have to fucking help each other because in the end that’s all we have --our togetherness. We’re nothing without our connection to others. It’s easy to forget since we all walk around connected to technology instead of what is in front of us. But last night I had no technology to save me. I was alone on a desolate midnight street in Brooklyn. Who else is going to hear my cry for help but the one person walking by? I’d like to think that if someone else is need on the street that I will stop to help. I’d like to think that most people can be woken up out of their haze of disconnection, their lost sense of empathy, their rush to get somewhere. I’m hoping we all wake up soon, because there are some people who have been shouting for help for a while now, and it is fairly easy to not hear the cries of the marginalized.
Will we put down our phones and listen? ---

Beautiful Community

Now is the Time
Love and Protect Each other
Resist and Rise*

*lyrics by Emma Alabaster and myself

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