waiting for light

the Gift

_______________


this is a gift
that I didn't want

but now

it's the only thing I have.



this is a gift

but there is nothing inside.

I will cut string after string
unwrap paper after paper

until I sit
holding nothing

looking

at last


at me

prospect park

remember. forget. remember. forget. remember.

"please make time
 to be with the ones you love"

death woke me up
in the middle of the night

the moaning and wailing of our poor feral cats
in the cold and bitter wind.

winter takes what it will.

and then

flashing lights
a siren
an ambulence
a stretcher
a neighbor....

carried from their home into the dark cold night.

I am not ready to face
that someday my parents will be gone.

that someday, I too, will disappear.

I am afraid of death, but more afraid of life,
and
what I have to see,

to hold
and to lose.

newtown

in

one tiny breath

in.

despite grief's hold
on my heart

in

in

my chest rises.

somehow
each gasp
makes its way through

as I try to pray
for
each fallen life