Thursday, July 17, 2014

universal mourning


Yesterday a 2 yr. old drowned in the lake in Prospect Park.
 I was going for my daily park walk by the boathouse when I saw people in panic, a mother was holding one child, pacing around the lake, police just arriving. We learned that a child was missing.
Her cousin was found on a path, wet, covered in green algae.
A police officer found a tiny sandal, covered in algae.
There is so much algae covering the lake that you cannot even see that it is water. From a 2 yr old's view, it might have looked like a grassy field to run on. 
For hours before her body was found in the lake, some park bystanders were helping look. There was a helicopter, at least 50 police officers, and all of us folk
looking through the woods and paths.
Her cousin was found on a path.
wet, covered in algae.
maybe she was just lost in the woody area of the park?
There were some people eating their lunch by the lake,
people playing games in the field near by.
If everyone that was nearby had heard about it and jumped into the green lake, would she have been saved?
We were all helping, but what if the message had been communicated sooner, that she was lost, might be in the lake...
could we all have jumped in and felt around for her body?
If everyone in the park knew that there was a missing child there would be no soccer games, no picnics, no leisurely strolls, no kissing on the bridge, no taking pictures by the boat house, no runners passing through.
I wanted to run around and scream and tell everyone.
I wanted to SCREAM---a 2 yr. old might be drowning right now!!
STOP PLAYING. PLEASE HELP.
EVERYONE.
We need EVERYONE here to help the mom look for her kid. 
Instead, my friend and I paced through the wooded paths, as instructed by the police, hoping that she was on land, and we could spot her.
The news came by the evening that her body was found in the lake.
and I am sitting here shaking. 
crying.
remembering the mother in panic---gripping to her son---running and searching.
My friend and I had gone into the park wrapped up in our lives when suddenly confronted with the horror and tragedy of the death of a 2 yr. old girl.
and now, away from the park, I am unable to leave it.
I cannot go back to the things I have to do.
There are places in the world where horrifying tragedy happens all of the time. I think immediately of Palestine. 
I read yesterday
that Palestinian Mohammad Abu Khadair was burned alive.

And then I find my way around to other war-torn countries where everyday someone is killed by a bomb or gun.

I just don't see it.
All of the mothers aren't running by me.
I am unable to see their face, gripped with terror.

What else don't I see hidden away in my tower of privilege?

Reading the news, I saw pictures of the 4 transwomen of color who were murdered this past June.
and read about how many Brazilian transgender people have died this year.

After I read about these tragedies I didn't go outside and run trying to find the perpetrator. 
I couldn't.
The news comes too late and from too far.
and I am often left paralyzed when faced with such horror


happening everyday.
every minute.
And now, I am left out of breath from searching for the little girl, but I cannot rest.
I cannot go back to my home, my piano. My tiny little bubble.
I have to continue to help fight for justice.
My heart is filled with so much sadness for the mother and her family.
I will not be able to walk by the park lake again without remembering this tragedy.
But this is just it.
I need to remember.
Yes. I need to live my life and laugh and sing, but I need to remember the people in this world struggling to live, faced with such tragedy everyday.
If all of us, privileged enough to enjoy leisure, can remember, then maybe there would be more action?
If I were able to see a Palestinian mother weeping for her child--in front of me---as a sudden interruption to my normal day---
how would the rest of my day look?
what would the things to do be?
What is the most important thing we can be doing?

"We who believe in freedom cannot rest
We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes

Until the killing of Black men, Black mothers’ sons
Is as important as the killing of White men, White mothers’ sons


We who believe in freedom cannot rest

We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes"
-Bernice Johnson Reagon


listen to the song here


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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

starry days (lyrics)

listen while you read here

__________________________________________________________
we're drowning in our thirst

swallowed by our hunger

burnt by our shadow

poisoned by our apple


we're dreaming when awake
we're sleeping through our days


forgotten by our future

locked out from our past

dancing in our stillness

lifted by our fall


we're dreaming when awake
we're sleeping through our days


revealed by our secrets
awoken by our sleep
swimming in the desert
frozen by the heat

in starry days and shining nights
moving doesn't change
forgotten middle hours
turn


into rain...



revealed by our secrets
awoken by our sleep
swimming in the dessert
frozen by the heat

in starry days and shining nights
moving doesn't change

forgotten middle hours
turn


into rain...




we're dreaming when awake
we're sleeping through our days....

___________________________________________________________



order Mariel's solo cd here



falling stars (lyrics)

listen to the song here

_________________________________________________________
the sun melts
as
we slip away

our stillborn dreams

our sunken shame


while we dance
under the stars

under the rain

naked, the same


the earth spins round
we'll never know
will we fall off
the faster it goes round??


the earth grows dizzy
as it spins around
the sun and moon watch
us all fall down

we all fall down

we all fall down

will we look like shooting stars
crashing to the ground?

will we look like shooting stars
crashing
to
the ground?


Friday, June 6, 2014

maybe so (lyrics)

listen to the song here


___________________________________________
the sun burns our eyes
if we look at it to find...

our sand castle
washes away by the tide

time passes by
sweeping friends in its stride.

how can I love if love dies?

how can I love if love dies?


what can we keep?

what can we hold?

let's come together
to joyously weep

at my new altar

let us bow down

singin' dear ones
I don't know
I don't know

I don't know...

maybe so.


I'll be singing this song
after you're gone

but my song is over
not after too long

my song is over
not after too long.


even the longest kiss
cannot stretch into for sure

and you can hold my hand
just remember to let go

at my new altar
let us bow down

singing dear ones
I don't know
I don't know

I don't know...

maybe so.


Friday, May 23, 2014

mermaid parade (lyrics)


a summer day of rain and whistles
black flies biting
mermaid giggles


and while we whiled away the afternoon

the silken sand of wind and willow
willow weeps but still tomorrow
I won't speak of you or you of me


I see you riding by the corner
as I'm tucked beneath the awning
hiding from your shadow in the rain

we'll never speak of love......


we'll never speak of love....


in the mermaid parade
on that wild windy day


we couldn't keep the tide from comin' in.


can the past burn into ashes?
can our ashes spread to soil?
can new seeds be pressed below it?
and new life sprout from above it?


will the plant that then arises
carry something from below it?
will it look like you
or look like me?


will we weep
will we see
will we cry
will we speak


will we know another day
another time
another day


another time.....?

we'll never speak of love....


__________________________________________________________________

listen to the song  here

Thursday, May 15, 2014

on the corner



I was sitting on the corner
of 3rd Ave and Wyckoff.

Already thinking slightly  of you

and then

all of a sudden

you whizz by.

You, in your lighting--yellow--bolt- jacket
and tall tall bike
stretching so high---
your helmet catches clouds
like a net in the sky.

I called out your name---
but you were riding too fast,
my shout,
just a blur 
in the noisy street life.

You rode away
and I was left
with piercing in my eyes...

as if I had tried
to stare at the sun.

Like most things
if we look too long- - ---

we become blind.

I cannot hold on to time whizzing by.

Instead
I keep my gaze
on what is here.

the kids jumping rope on the corner
the leaves whistling in the wind
I feel my feet touch the ground 
as more bikes and memories fly by.

but I miss your tender heart!
Oh I miss your tender heart!

I will cry out my grief
let if flow from my eyes...

and watch
as it too
passes by.

Friday, May 9, 2014

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