Monday, November 4, 2013

nothing else but free


today
i walked up and up
a very tall mountain
overlooking the humble city of freiburg
and all its beautiful people.


I blew a wish into the wind.
a wish of gratitude for the dancers with whom I shared such an intimate week
of listening, holding and sharing.


Then I walked even higher


up and up
and looked
beyond the tip of germany
beyond the sea


up and up
until I could see Finland´s beautiful trees,
Helsinki´s cobblestone streets,
Suvi´s deep and attentive eyes,
Ken´s enormous smile
Cesar´s hand-crafted flutes
Elsa´s dimples
Tim´s warm and accepting presence


I blew a wish that all be well in the hearts and minds of the dear Finnish people
and their quiet, elegant land.


and although the path became quite steep I walked
on and on
up and up


until I could see my lovely Iceland,
who´s cold, stark landscape I will never forget…
the hostel and the short but meaningful connections made,
the wonderful dancers we got to briefly meet.


I blew a wish into the wind for Iceland
to rest safely in its quiet nook
far from the rest of the world.


Then the wind became quite strong and I didn´t think I could walk much more
but I traveled slowly
higher and higher


until I could see


my dear and beloved brooklyn.


it hurt my heart to look,
for so many loved ones are bruised and sad right now.


my home is breaking
my neighborhood community is imploding


much too much pain for my little heart to hold.


so I blew a wish.


well.. I blew a LOT of wishes.


one by one I thought of each friend
who is grappling with grief, depression or romantic heart-break.


and wished for each of them to remember to worship expression.


to yell and stomp until they dance
to dance until they sob
to sob until they sing
to sing until they become smaller and smaller
held by the larger love
of sound.


for this is the only hope we have
the only thing we can do


to express


to fall down
and cradle ourselves.


dearest friends of brooklyn,
please keep singing


please keep stomping


please keep laughing


laugh SO loud that you have to gasp for more breath
for more life


keep gasping for life.


but then I walked even further up and saw more of brooklyn---


the pain and struggle beyond my own community and home.


the stop and frisk policy is still at work----
demeaning and subjecting Latin and black people
holding them as criminals from only a glance


the trans community is being beaten and mocked


those without the basic necessities are being stripped more and more


impoverished communities are denied funds for a substantial education.



much too much to fix on my own.



I sent a wish that I will continue to fight for justice for everyone----
that I won´t rest in the comfort of my privileged skin color
that I´ll remember everyday the people
squashed down by a racist system,
the millions of people of color
imprisoned in cells or in their lives.


I sent a wish that I will give as much as I can give to this world.


I will love myself SO MUCH
that there will be an overflow into the world.



With everything I saw from above
my final wish
was...


for a moment…


to have the wind blow away all my thoughts,
all my dreams
and lift me into the sky



please help me to surrender
everything I know
everything I´ve seen


and fall into the grace
of
nothing else

but free.

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